What is Civility?
Welcome to Civility Chat! Exploring the Art of Living Civilly.
So what is civility? I am often asked this question. We hear people talk about it all the time, but few can define what it means.
The origins of the word Civility lie in its connection to Civitas, a Latin word meaning city and the French word Civilite which means politeness. Civility also shares a connection with the word civilization. Civility is about kindness, respect, caring and thoughtfulness. Dr. P.M. Forni, co-founder of the Johns Hopkins Civility Project and author of Choosing Civility – the Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct, notes that civility is a code of conduct based on the 3R’s: Respect, Restraint and Responsibility.
Being civil includes our appearance, our behavior and our communication. It requires that I not only consider my own needs, but I also consider the needs of those I come in contact with and how my actions may impact them.
Here are Dr. P.M. Forni’s Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct:
- Pay Attention
- Acknowledge Others
- Think the Best
- Listen
- Be Inclusive
- Speak Kindly
- Don’t Speak Ill
- Accept and Give Praise
- Respect Even a Subtle ‘No’
- Respect Other’s Opinions
- Mind Your Body
- Be Agreeable
- Keep It Down (and Rediscover Silence)
- Respect Other People’s Time
- Respect Other People’s Space
- Apologize Earnestly
- Assert Yourself
- Avoid Personal Questions
- Care for Your Guests
- Be a Considerate Guest
- Think Twice Before Asking for Favors
- Refrain from Idle Complaints
- Accept and Give Constructive Criticism
- Respect the Environment and Be Gentle to Animals
- Don’t Shift Responsibility and Blame
If you have not yet read Dr. P.M. Forni’s book, Choosing Civility, I encourage you to do so. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0312302509?ie=UTF8&tag=wwwfinaltouch-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0312302509
So, what do you think? Are people more or less civil today?
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: politeness civility appearance speech communication
Depends on how much you get out and interact with others! Personally, I run into a larger majority of friendly and respectable people... although, I must admit that I have had situations with those who do not practice the art of being civil and found myself not knowing how to react in the most effective manner... I am excited to hear that you will be publishing Civility flash cards down the road - I have a set of your Etiquette flash cards and they have greatly expanded my awareness on how to display appropriate manners in so many different situations! They are a lot of fun too... Thank you!
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I do think that standards of respect and civility have changed in America in the last 50 years or so. We have so many wonderful freedoms but with freedom comes responsibility; the missing piece between freedoms that are complimented by civility and freedoms that are tarnished by those who are not civil. Thank you for creating greater awareness!
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I too am thrilled that you will be producing Civility Flash Cards. We use your Etiquette Flash Cards at the dinner table when our 9 year old granddaughter is with us. She is quick to remind me to get them from the top of the refrigerator when I forget. She loves to read us the questions to see if Auntie, Grandpa and Grandma know the answers. Very fun! She will love the addition of a new set of cards. When will they debut?
The flash cards, all you teach 'and' your example, P.M. Forni's work and books, along with others is refreshing, educational and desperately needed in our rapidly declining culture.
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i think out of all the rules, the most important one is to pay attention.
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