Time is money! In the United States we often search for the best service at the best price with little, if any, attention given to building strong relationships. We believe we must work longer, harder, and faster than the next person if we are to succeed. Business is managed through contracts and lawyers and, in the case of a disagreement, lawsuits. This drive to achieve leaves little time for 'niceties' such as please, thank you and the nearly forgotten handwritten thank you note.

It has been said that people do business with those they know, like and trust. Those who do business outside the United States realize that others value building strong relationships and trust prior to any agreement to work together. This often lengthy social dance of discovering who the other person is can be frustrating to those who are used to snapping their fingers and barking orders to rush things along. And yet, being kind and considerate is necessary for any relationship - be it business or personal - to thrive. It is also the key to improving the quality of our own lives.

We all are in the relationship business whether we realize it or not and manners do matter. Our image is constantly being examined by those we meet. Our ability is being measured by our clothing, our grooming, and our conduct. Just as I conduct a seasonal survey of my wardrobe, I must also review my skill of working with others and ask myself if I would like to do business with me? It is also necessary to evaluate how I conduct myself when I am working with my peers. Am I the type of person they would be confident in referring others to?

Here are a few questions to get the evaluation process started:

• Am I polite when on the telephone?
• Do I practice good listening skills?
• Do I respect another's opinion?
• Am I generous with 'Please' and 'Thank You?'
• Do I send thank you notes on a regular basis?
• Do I check all emails for accuracy, professionalism, and my tone prior to sending them?

Manners do make business better and improves our lives personally. Dr. P.M. Forni, author of ‘Choosing Civility’ and ‘The Civility Solution,’ provides the following insight into why civility is important:

"Two guiding notions of my work on civility have not changed and I doubt that they will any time soon. The first is that life is a relational experience. We do not live in a vacuum. We live among others, we depend on others, and we seek comfort and life meaning in others. Our very individual identities, sanity, and health are shaped by others' presence in our lives. The quality of our lives depends, to a large extent, on the quality of our relationships.

The second notion is a logical consequence of the first. If we agree that life is relational, if we agree that by bettering our relationships we better the quality of our lives, then it makes sense to acquire relational competence. It makes sense to find ways of becoming good at being with others. The rules of civility and good manners give us a basic, time-proven, and effective code of relational competence. Manners and civility are not trivial matters."

Manners do matter!