When someone first enters a room, what captures your attention? Is it what the person is wearing, his or her smile, eye contact, hair, or some other physical characteristic? Leaders possess a unique quality that enables them to capture the attention of those they meet. Those who have achieved a level of success and mastery in their work also possess this quality. What is it? Confidence! People who are confident “own” the room they enter, communicating to all that they have the skill to handle whatever they may face. Confidence is rated by many as the most attractive feature about someone.  

Do you possess a level of confidence that enables you to move with ease from one situation to the next? Are your children confident in the situations they face? Confidence is not something one is born with; it must be developed.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines confidence as “faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way; the quality or state of being certain.”

Confident people are easily identified the moment they enter a room. They stand tall and move with grace and certainty. They are open to others and look for opportunities to connect with them. They easily meet and greet others and seem to converse effortlessly. Also, they are competent in their abilities without being boastful.

Acquiring confidence comes by learning and practicing a skill until it becomes automatic and natural. Malcom Gladwell, author of The Tipping Point and Outliers, states that one must devote at least 10,000 hours to a given craft before he or she is truly successful with it. Many think confidence and social skills should be mastered by reading a few articles or attending a seminar on the topic. A brief brush with a new skill does not equate to mastery. There must be ongoing learning, followed by practice and feedback, for an extended period of time before a new skill is developed and is truly useful.
 
Developing a higher level of confidence will not only benefit you; it will benefit all those you interact with—most importantly, your children. You cannot give to others what you yourself do not possess. You may not work outside your home, where you need to master a particular skill, but the level of confidence you have will be what you pass on to your children.

We all are products of the people and experiences we’ve been exposed to. Children who have been nurtured in homes rich with social skills are able to master the moments they face. Their success is predictable. As you increase your own confidence, the situations you used to dread, or avoid, will become a source of enjoyment and will open new doors of opportunity for many.

Civility Challenge

Pay attention to those around you. Every act of kindness starts with noticing others. Many uncivil acts are rooted in being in a hurry and unaware. Slow down and consider those you are with at home, at work, and in the marketplace.

“When civility reigns, people rejoice!” –Deborah King

May is International Civility Awareness Month!