"Civility is not a mechanical act. Civility is a condition of the heart." ~ Deborah King

Civility is not something you put on, like a new outfit, in order to impress another to achieve a particular goal. Pure civility must be authentic. Authentic civility springs from a heart that deeply values all people and recognizes that every action somehow affects others. This realization – as you live in a world where you are connected with others, whether you know them or not – requires that you carefully consider everything you say and do.

Discover the Treasure Within
Before you can treat others with care and consideration, you must give care and consideration to yourself.  Recognize that within you resides a priceless treasure, and that treasure exists to be shared. This treasure is something you bring forth out of you, not something you try to get. The more you give, the more you receive.

Frustration Signals Passion
What frustrates you? What, you may ask, does my treasure have to do with frustration? Your frustration may actually be a signal revealing your passion. Not everyone is passionate about the same things as you. There are many things I hear about that I see as unfortunate or horrible, but I am not moved to frustration. When I do find myself being frustrated over and over by an issue, I know to ask myself What can I do to meet this need? 

When you find you are frustrated, take some time to think about how you could bring change in that area. Could you join a group, teach a class, write an article, or develop a new service or product?

Competition Evaporates
Don’t be concerned with the competition. When you give birth to what is within you, there is no competition because there is only one “you”! Never settle for being a cheap imitation of someone else. Teachers, coaches, and trainers can provide importance guidance, but you have to learn to listen and evaluate every situation and discover how you can uniquely meet that need. Acts of incivility often escalate in highly competitive environments. It is vital that you know who you are and what your purpose is.

Plod On, Plod On
As a teen, I heard my pastor say that to be successful in anything in life, you must be like the old plow horse: Each day he plows the field – going back and forth, back and forth. It’s not exciting, but the constant, consistent action produces a great harvest.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and authentic civility does not become commonplace by a single act. Like the old plow horse, you must plod on, plod on, plod . . .
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