Entertaining is not exclusive to the holidays, but the holidays do invite more opportunities to entertain. For some, entertaining is as easy as breathing. For others, the thought of inviting guests into their home for a meal is breath-taking! All the cleaning, shopping,  cooking, and then cleaning again become overwhelming and stressful. It is simply easier to go to a restaurant and let someone else handle the details. As lovely as a meal out can be, however, it can never replace the warmth and intimacy of a meal shared around a family table.

To entertain with style does not require the best linens, perfectly set table, finest cuisine, or grand home. What it does require is a host and guests who are kind and thoughtful, and understand that true hospitality is a gift given from a generous heart. 

The Happy Host   
A happy host begins with the end in mind. The goal is to nurture established relationships as well as cultivate new ones. For your guests to have a pleasant experience, you must have a pleasant experience, and that requires thoughtful preparation. If you are not a seasoned host, it is best to start small. Remember, this is not about putting on a show; it’s about sharing who you are.

Entertaining starts with an invitation. For a casual event you may call your guests and provide them with the details of a date, time, and place. It is always a good idea to ask your guests if they have any food requirements you should be aware of. You would not want to serve a shrimp pasta dish to someone who was deathly allergic to shellfish.

What to serve? Anything you and your guests will enjoy! Thankfully, there is no rule that you must personally prepare each dish from scratch when you are a host. Whether you lack cooking skills, or simply do not have the time, there are plenty of options available to you – from prepared food at your local supermarket to take-out from your favorite restaurant to hiring a caterer. Simply place the food on your own dishes, and dinner is ready! If you do enjoy cooking and have the time, terrific!

Think through all the details. How and when will you serve the food? Where will everyone sit? What about lighting and music? Will you include candles and flowers? If you do, use only unscented candles and flowers where food is served. Is your home neat and clean? While no guest should be doing a white glove test when they arrive, they should be greeted with a clean environment. Will the evening include food and interesting conversation, or will you play a game – or watch a movie? What time will the evening end? And don’t forget to plan ahead for what you will wear. There is nothing more stressful than trying to find something to wear at the last moment.

Being a host is a gift of love and does require effort. By keeping your focus on the goal, thinking through the process, and having as many of the details handled before your guests arrive, you are well on your way to being a happy host. A happy host enjoys her guests and makes them her focus.

The Gracious Guest
A happy host loves a gracious guest, someone who understands that being invited into a home is an act of generosity and hospitality and would never treat such an invitation lightly. She is quick to let the host know if she is able to attend – RSVP – and, once she has accepted the kind invitation, would not think of being late, not showing up, or bringing an uninvited tagalong.

A gracious guest never arrives empty handed. If she was not asked to bring a part of the meal, she brings a small gift that the host will enjoy as a way to express her gratitude.  She comes prepared to participate in the conversation and any activities the host has planned. She looks for ways that she can assist her host, such as, making other guests feel comfortable, or giving a helpful hand in the kitchen.  She is positive, kind and thoughtful to all. She never overstays her welcome, and never forgets to send her host a handwritten note expressing her gratitude.

Successful entertaining requires both a happy host and gracious guests. Life today is overscheduled, overspent, and filled with stress – especially during the holidays. Being invited into someone’s home to enjoy a meal and pleasant conversation may be one of the best gifts you receive. This holiday season, schedule time to open your home and your heart to those you love. It is a priceless gift.

“It requires as much skill and genius to entertain friends as to defeat an army.” —Paulus Aemilius, Roman General